you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize