I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We are two peas in an std pod
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
