dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
