i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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