We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My legs feel like baby dolphins
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
