I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
