After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
