he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
