This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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