dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
