its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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