drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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