Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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