The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
