I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I feel great
I just peed on a car
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize