FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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