We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
