bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
