..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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