U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
