3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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