it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
