Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
