i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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