I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
