doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
