i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
