I just cut my nipple shaving
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I had to cum in my sink.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
