I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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