I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
