4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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