We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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