but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
