what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
