Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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