omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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