Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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