Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
