after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
