So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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