i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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