Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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