I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
