Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize
