bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
