Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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