He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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