Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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