so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
