Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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