Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
