You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I wish my penis had an off switch
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
