Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
