Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
