some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
