he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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