So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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