its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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