u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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